It sucks to be left behind in the race to be hipper than the rest.

Being into The Scene doesn’t mean you have to like anything, rather you have to know more and know it sooner.

What one man finds new and cutting edge must immediately be sliced in two and declared passé, that is if you are truly to be considered on the edge.

You have heard of all those bands haven’t you?

You wouldn’t believe how excited I was at the prospect of browsing EMO Direct’s website.

Pity it’s not quite what I thought it would be…

I’m all for a spot of Daily Mail bashing but when it comes to talking sides between whiny teens and reactionary right wing bigots, I have real allegiance issues.

It was nice to hear that in its usual over the top fashion the Daily Mail had described the execrable My Chemical Romance as a ’suicide cult’ band and in one article had even said ‘no child is safe from the sinister cult of Emo’! Top stuff indeed.

However it was even more of a delight to hear that as a result of these inflammatory statements that truck loads of Emos were planning a march on the Daily Mail’s offices.

This is bound to lead to some quality images, I thought. And sure enough I wasn’t disappointed.

That image is too juicy to pass up without comment. Let’s start with the lack of apostrophes in we’re, come on whiner, if you want your gloomy world view to be taken seriously make your point using decent English.

The message that sign is conveying is, unbeknownst to you, that you are a cult. You see what that sign says is ‘were not a cult’, which is the same as saying ‘we used to not be a cult’. Which indicates quite clearly that you are in fact a cult now.

I’m not going to get into the layout of the text on the cardboard sign, but let’s just say that next time you should use a ruler to plan out where all the letters are going to go before you get your chunky marker out. After all you’re not homeless, I’d imagine that Mummy and Daddy, who probably drove you to this protest in the Range Rover, do have access to stationery supplies?

Still your mind’s on hair bleach and eye-liner though isn’t it, not typographical clarity.

It’s true this rather sad excuse for a site has been going for three months now. You’d think it would have a bit more content really wouldn’t you?

C’est la vie, I’m sure when I’m wealthy and a man of leisure that I’ll have more time to get my hatred on screen, until then though as a special three-month-anniversary-treat you can have a post about Emos marching on the Daily Mail offices.