What the fuck is going on in the world?

I mean seriously, what? Look at this photo and tell me what you see.

Legs like pipe cleaners, hair bleached to within an inch of its life and jeans that sit just below the, well, er, arse line.

A nice touch that this boy-thing added was the bit you can’t see, every three or four yards it would eject a stream of watery spit onto the pavement. Literally, it couldn’t move more than five paces without a fountain of its mouth juice hitting the deck. Nice.

Anyway back to my real moan, look at those jeans! My jeans sit somewhere north of my hips, not dangling gently round my thighs. How do those fucking things stay on?

We need a closer look.

Right, see that loose collection of blackish material at the top? That’s his underpants. You can tell they’re his underpants because you could see the crack of his arse as he walked.

See the bit below? That’s his jeans. Skinny girl jeans. Jeans that are made for skinny, no, not skinny, anorexic girls. He’s wearing jeans that were designed to be worn by a person that had no cock and lived on laxatives and warm water. I think that says a lot.

Anyway at what point did The Youth™ start wanting to dress like this? When did I become so out of it that I didn’t notice this seismic shift towards ill-fitting clothes and a desire to let people see your baggy gruts?

What happened to lads wanting to look like men? I doubt highly that 300 would have been quite as exciting if it concerned the story of men that dressed like this plum, flopping around, foppish fringes blowing in the breeze, whining on about how life was unfair and nobody understood them. Tossers.

Bring back National Service!

Actually while I’m at it on the ‘fashion’ thing, why does every girl in Britain under 21 wear the same combo of hair band, smock, footless tights and flat shoes? Ok, they all mix up the colours from a pallete of around nine retina-searing, eye-fuckingly-bright shades, but essentially they all wear the same clothes, right? Why?